YOU HAVE JUST BEEN TASKED WITH MAKING THE NEXT 'TENDO CONSOLE

THE SWITCH 2 HAS JUST FAILED SO HARD THAT NINTENDO NEEDS TO MAKE A CONSOLE SO GEMMY IT NOT ONLY SAVES THE 'TENDO BUT ALL OF VIDYA. WHAT CONSOLE DO YOU LAUNCH?
>HOW POWERFUL IS IT?
>WHAT ARE THE LAUNCH TITLES?
>WHAT IS THE PRICE?

Nintendo Revolution
It's about as powerful as a normal PS5 and it's a vr-handheld-home console hybrid priced at $420.
Games:
The switch 2 launch titles
Waluigi Land - GTA clone where you play as Waluigi trying to get coins. Also implies Teh PETRIXXX Show is canon to Mario lore.
Wario World 2
Mario Maker 3 - You can do 3D levels. Sunshine, 64, Odyssey, Galaxy, 2, Land, 6 Golden Coins & Wonder are also added as themes
HLX
Halo 4X - Because Microsoft is slowly becoming the next Sega, I can bully them into letting us make a new Halo 4 that does a full return to the Bungie game design and retcons all 343 lore
KaiserMan - MegaMan fangame I had that takes place in Teh PETRIXXX Show universe
Omori 2 - Emperor Bman invades Sunny Omori's home planet, planet Jarty, and sends hundreds of mercenaries to hunt down Sunny's faggy friend group and bring them to Earth to be tortured. You play as Sunny in castle crashers styled gameplay trying to survive your slopjak world collapse into rubble.

Online is free, the menu is a futuristic version of the wii's, backwards compatible with almost every console including a few non nintendo ones, virtual console for thousands of games with an emulator for anything else, high quality controller but still only $40, $50-$60 video games, the return of channel intros from the wii, 16 player support, eshop music and all physical releases running off the cartridge with major releases not being available digitally

PETRIXXX said:

Nintendo Revolution
It's about as powerful as a normal PS5 and it's a vr-handheld-home console hybrid priced at $420.
Games:
The switch 2 launch titles
Waluigi Land - GTA clone where you play as Waluigi trying to get coins. Also implies Teh PETRIXXX Show is canon to Mario lore.
Wario World 2
Mario Maker 3 - You can do 3D levels. Sunshine, 64, Odyssey, Galaxy, 2, Land, 6 Golden Coins & Wonder are also added as themes
HLX
Halo 4X - Because Microsoft is slowly becoming the next Sega, I can bully them into letting us make a new Halo 4 that does a full return to the Bungie game design and retcons all 343 lore
KaiserMan - MegaMan fangame I had that takes place in Teh PETRIXXX Show universe
Omori 2 - Emperor Bman invades Sunny Omori's home planet, planet Jarty, and sends hundreds of mercenaries to hunt down Sunny's faggy friend group and bring them to Earth to be tortured. You play as Sunny in castle crashers styled gameplay trying to survive your slopjak world collapse into rubble.

Online is free, the menu is a futuristic version of the wii's, backwards compatible with almost every console including a few non nintendo ones, virtual console for thousands of games with an emulator for anything else, high quality controller but still only $40, $50-$60 video games, the return of channel intros from the wii, 16 player support, eshop music and all physical releases running off the cartridge with major releases not being available digitally

Saved the west award

Nintendo Wii 3
It's basically the Wii with the following:
-Power equal to that of a Series X
-Comes with Wii Remote 3 and Wii Nunchuck 3, but also traditional style controllers for third parties that would leak otherwise
-Wii Motion Plus 3 built into the controllers
-Backwards compatibility with the GameCube, Wii, and Wii U. NES, SNES, Virtual Boy, N64, GameCube, Wii, and Wii U games are all available on the Virtual Console, and the console can use Wii and Wii U accessories.
-Priced at $400 at launch, lowered to $300 when the mid-gen refresh (Super Nintendo Wii 3) is released
Launch Titles:
-Donkey Kong Bananza 2
-Super Mario Universe, a sequel to Mario Galaxy 2 that uses the full power of the hardware
-The Legend of Zelda: Link's Andronoventure, a Zelda game that retcons all the BOTW and TOTK lore and makes it so the ancestors of the Hylian race are based on Indo-Europeans, and the Hylian Royal Family comes from Hylians and not furry goat demon niggers, and all copies of BOTW and TOTK are destroyed forever
-Kanye's Adventure in Israel, Kanye goes around killing Jews in Israel
-Wario World II, a sequel to Wario World that also lets you play as Waluigi
-Pokemon Red, a reboot of Pokemon thats an actually good game
-Halo 4: The Real One, retcons all Halo games made by 343
-Mother 3 localization, except whenever you die, it cuts to a hanging troonjak and large text that says "YWNBAW" and then nigger gore images
>B-b-but Nintendo would NEVER do thi-ACK!

trollglodyte2 said:

Nintendo Wii 3
It's basically the Wii with the following:
-Power equal to that of a Series X
-Comes with Wii Remote 3 and Wii Nunchuck 3, but also traditional style controllers for third parties that would leak otherwise
-Wii Motion Plus 3 built into the controllers
-Backwards compatibility with the GameCube, Wii, and Wii U. NES, SNES, Virtual Boy, N64, GameCube, Wii, and Wii U games are all available on the Virtual Console, and the console can use Wii and Wii U accessories.
-Priced at $400 at launch, lowered to $300 when the mid-gen refresh (Super Nintendo Wii 3) is released
Launch Titles:
-Donkey Kong Bananza 2
-Super Mario Universe, a sequel to Mario Galaxy 2 that uses the full power of the hardware
-The Legend of Zelda: Link's Andronoventure, a Zelda game that retcons all the BOTW and TOTK lore and makes it so the ancestors of the Hylian race are based on Indo-Europeans, and the Hylian Royal Family comes from Hylians and not furry goat demon niggers, and all copies of BOTW and TOTK are destroyed forever
-Kanye's Adventure in Israel, Kanye goes around killing Jews in Israel
-Wario World II, a sequel to Wario World that also lets you play as Waluigi
-Pokemon Red, a reboot of Pokemon thats an actually good game
-Halo 4: The Real One, retcons all Halo games made by 343
-Mother 3 localization, except whenever you die, it cuts to a hanging troonjak and large text that says "YWNBAW" and then nigger gore images
>B-b-but Nintendo would NEVER do thi-ACK!

Mother 3 translation but it's absolutely botched and terrible and half the dialogue is in swahili and the troons' dialogue is from your review of sprunki

PETRIXXX said:

Mother 3 translation but it's absolutely botched and terrible and half the dialogue is in swahili and the troons' dialogue is from your review of sprunki

^Nintendo do this

PETRIXXX said:

your review of sprunki

I wanna see that, it sounds funny.